Is Pansexuality the future of Sex?
Photo by Charbel Saade
Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve always intuitively sensed pulsating sexual energy around me and within me. I never saw it as wrong or inappropriate. It was a life force that was undeniably present and it was trying to speak at all times. I was just receptive to its overwhelming power the way I was -and still am- to love, joy or compassion.
A) I use humor, sarcasm and explicit language in my writing.
B) I am not advocating child-related sex. That would be pedophilia- one of the most horrendous and punishable crimes known to mankind.
C) I’m not preaching to happily married housewives to dabble in promiscuous or experimental debauchery. Just unhappy ones. (Humor!)
D) This is my personal blog in which I express my very own views, questionings and experiences. (Size definitely doesn’t fit all).
First time I ever felt genitally awake: Souks of Yemen. Age 6. I vividly recall the unsettling sensation was akin to a wine opener twisting in my vagina.
First time I watched a TV sex scene and loved it: Toronto. Age 8. Solo afternoon channel surfing lead me to a leather-clad couple doing it in a dark back alley against garbage dumpsters. I understood then and there that sex was meant to be dirty, dangerous and public. And that a biker jacket was the ultimate must-have piece for any self-respecting woman.
First time I tried to seduce a man: Toronto suburban basement. I lay down seductively-or that’s what I thought-on the couch of his billiard room. Hysterically laughed out loud when he got scared and told me I was crazy. He was 19. I was 9. Our dads were talking stocks and bonds upstairs.
Unlike most of my peers, Tag wasn’t my favorite game of the 80s. My most relished secret game was to sit with my parents when they had other couples over, silently observe and try to guess what sexual quirks, fetishes and deviations their friends thought they were so cleverly hiding from everyone.
Also it might help to add that my brain was never truly normal. At age 4, after throwing a sudden hysterical screaming fit which landed me in the nearest Tunis hospital, my parents feared they had an epileptic child on their hands. Following an EEG, they were reassured when the enthusiastic doctor announced that I had the brain of a 7 year old. My father, elated, set his hopes up for a genius daughter. Not a twisted-minded one.
This candid receptivity to sexual energy lead me throughout my life to perceive sexuality as a healthy, beautiful, divinely-bestowed means to connecting with Creation itself as well as understanding ourselves and others. A sort of map or language to deciphering the cosmos within us and around us.
I never understood the big deal. Why adults whispered and got all flustered around the word “sex”. It was quite obvious to me that if God thought sex was shameful he would have orchestrated for us to have babies by gazing into each others’ eyes, meditating in hand-held circles or tumbling down grassy hills with shrieks and giggles. Instead, interestingly enough, God chose no other than sex for us to pro-create. And since pro-creation is regarded by all faiths as the ultimate sacred human act, I thought, then sex must be sacred.
I also saw individuals beyond gender identity or sexual orientation, always wanting to buy from the cool salesperson that had breasts and razor bumps or get my tonsils checked by the pediatrician who was so cool he took his kids to every Madonna concert because his wife was always abroad filming guerilla documentaries.
I’ve grown up into what is conventionally defined as a heterosexual monogamous woman but continue to perceive others primarily as souls and energies in constant flux. Complex beings who bring their intellectual, emotional, intuitive and spiritual facets along with their current life experiences and past-life karma to every situation and encounter. How could we possibly encapsulate all this intricate beauty, mystery, chaos and depth into labels and definitions without butchering or vulgarizing it?
As I started exploring my spirituality and having powerful revelations and breakthroughs, I saw the link between Consciousness and Sexuality. The ecstatic original Oneness we experience with the Divine is the example we seek to duplicate through all transcendent, symbiotic expressive forms –and mostly sex. If Oneness with the divine is perfectly whole, compassionate and encompasses all of Creation, then it seemed logical that sexuality would also be perfectly whole and inclusive of all Creation.
Quantum physics only backed my intuition. If like all matter, we weren’t solid but rather energy spinning and radiating our own unique frequencies, I thought, then sexuality had to be fluid as well.
When I learned about pansexuality, the puzzle pieces in my head started falling into place. Pansexuality’s strict definition is sexual attraction, romantic love or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity.
As we globally awaken and move towards One Consciousness I feel it goes hand in hand that we move towards Sexual Oneness. I wonder if labels such as “straight”, “gay” or even “bisexual” aren’t limiting because they imply separation, a binary or a “mainstream” versus “alternative” sexuality.
I’m not at all suggesting that every person must be attracted or have sex with every type of individual out there. Our natural inclination, personal preferences and evolving desires are absolutely ours to live out. I’m merely proposing that we shift our compartmentalized perception of sex, gender identity and sexual orientation, drop our limitations, judgments and expectations in favor of a more inclusive continuum in which both gender and sexuality are fluid.
One thing I’ve learned as I mature, is that no one can ever truly comprehend what brings two individuals into love or lust. Logic can’t always explain how they connect and are enamored, what they offer each other, how they heal, excite, lift up, transform, balance, support or nurture one another. To me, the mystery of love and lust is a sacred one which we ought to have reverence and respect for.
How do you perceive the evolution of sexuality? Are you satisfied with the general status quo or are there other facets and dimensions you seek to comprehend or explore?
Here’s to the sweet liberation of letting go of our rigid views of ourselves and others, allowing for conscious connection, for the mystery to take over and transform us… perhaps even enlighten us.